Gender Male
Seeking Female, age 18-45
Orientation Straight
Age 36
Affiliation Atheist
Height 5" 9' (175 cm)
Location Yukon, OK
Living Alone
Marital Single
Kids No, don't want
Education College Graduate
Degree Bachelors
Income Average
Smoking Non-Smoker
Drinking Occasionally
Sex Want daily

To write about oneself in the introductory section of a dating website provokes the same feelings experienced when a human resources representative says to a potential employee, "So tell me about yourself."

Should I insult your intelligence and bore you with so many positive words that I would attribute to myself? And, but of course, leave out all the negative ones, save for some innocuous phrasing like, "I can be a handful at times, but...?"

Should I bring up my job? How much I love it and couple that with pics that admit of the material success that would make me eligible to be a fit bourgeois? Or, at least, a petit-bourgeois, who still has time to make it to the gym, as my hypothetical shirtless pics would clearly indicate?

Should I make mention that I love particular activities that indicate the proper amount of "extrovert," but then balance that out with a mentioned desire to spend quiet and pleasant evenings at home with that special someone, indicating the proper amount of fuzzy-sweater-wearing "introvert?"

No. I've shoveled so much malarkey at human resources representatives and women in my life, and I'm now inclined just to "make it plain," as Malcolm X/ El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz was wont to say.

If I come by the profile of a woman whom I fancy, I'll email her, and hopefully, she'll do me the courtesy of emailing me back; if only to tell me that she wasn't interested.

As for what I might suggest that we do were we to meet? I have one vice: coffee. So, let us meet for that, though I defer to any preference that you might have.

Post scriptum: one "selling point" that I have to make for myself is that I have ex-girlfriends who would jump at the chance to sell me to you.

I suppose that would be the dating equivalent of "references," returning to the aforementioned and imaginary human resources representative.